Why I Finally Stopped Hosting Christmas After Years of Doing It Alone!

For many years, when December arrived, I felt a familiar, growing sense of fear rather than awe. In my extended family’s unwritten hierarchy, hosting Christmas had become a strict, unavoidable requirement rather than a choice. My house became the default venue for our yearly holiday show because it was the biggest and most conveniently located. I embraced the position year after year, rearranging furniture to make room for everyone, creating elaborate dinners, and spending weeks negotiating packed shopping aisles. The sight of a dozen or more relatives laughing around my table made the physical, financial, and emotional toll worthwhile, I assured myself.

But behind the scenes, things were much less idyllic. I was a ghost in my own house, confined to the kitchen and the sink, while my visitors relished the warmth of the fire and the plenty of the spread. The celebration from the previous year seemed like the last straw. I prepared the meal for three full days, spending hundreds of dollars on a prime rib roast, organic sides, and good wine. Nobody offered to assist with the expense, and when the evening came to an end, I spent two hours by myself at the dishwasher while everyone else unwinded in the living room. Eventually, I left with Tupperware containers full of the leftovers that I had prepared and paid for. By the time I sat down at midnight, I felt taken advantage of rather than joyous.

This year, as the holidays drew near, I noticed a change in my mood. I came to see that I truly enjoy being hospitable, thus I wasn’t sincerely upset about the act of hosting itself. I was fed up with the effort’s lack of visibility. I was sick of bearing the burden of a whole family’s customs without a single hand reaching out to support me. I made the decision that the arrangement needs to change this year to something more fair.