ADVERTISEMENT
For seven years, my life was defined by a haunting, hollow silence. When my daughter Hannah vanished at the age of nineteen, the world as I knew it ceased to exist. She had simply stepped out one evening to meet a friend and never returned, leaving behind a bedroom that became a shrine to a life interrupted. I am fifty-two now, and for a long time, Christmas was no longer a holiday; it was a seasonal endurance test. The cinnamon scents and festive carols that once brought joy were transformed into jagged reminders of the girl who used to belt out songs off-key just to make me laugh. I lived in a state of suspended animation, caught between the crushing weight of grief and a stubborn, desperate denial.
The breakthrough happened in a city far from home during a long train layover. Seeking refuge from the biting winter air, I wandered into a crowded coffee shop near the station. The atmosphere was thick with the manufactured cheer of the holidays—Mariah Carey blaring from the speakers and the clinking of porcelain mugs. I was merely killing time, staring vacantly at the Christmas lights in the window, when the barista slid my latte toward me. As I reached for the cup, my heart stopped.
ADVERTISEMENT